Festivus aka Motherhood


Festivus aka Motherhood - Richmond Moms Blog

Frank Constanza can declare “Festivus for the rest of us!” all he wants, but as moms of toddlers, we’re already there.

The Airing of Grievances 

While grown-ups may need a made-up holiday to have the courage to share their grievances, a toddler needs no special occasion. Temperature too cold? Aired. Outfit too purple? Aired. Stars not aligned correctly with the moon? Aired. Can’t actually sing underwater like Ariel without choking? Definitely aired. 

Festivus Meal

The Festivus Meal is comprised of meatloaf or spaghetti…something covered with red sauce…something fit for a toddler feast.  Let’s just go ahead and add a bottle of ketchup (or seven), every carb east of the Mississippi, and whole milk by the gallon. 

The Feats of Strength

Every day is a feat of endurance: physical endurance and psychological endurance.

The laws of physics would suggest that a body that small can’t possibly have that much energy, but they do. Every day. Who in the house is the one that actually needs that nap? Hint: Not the two-year-old.

And the CIA is missing out on the greatest interrogation technique that toddlers have already mastered: name repetition. “Mom, what’s for dinner?” “Mom, where is my sparkle bow?” “Mom, let’s play.” “Mom, I’m hungry.” “Mom, I don’t like the way she’s looking at me.” “Mom, I don’t know what I want so I’m just going to sit here and scream MOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!”

If you make it to the end of the day without applying for a name change and with a shred of sanity intact, you, head of household, win.

The Festivus Pole

Of course, all of the official Festivus “celebrations” occur in the shadow of an aluminum Festivus pole. Our daily motherhood occurs in the shadow of a tower of cardboard boxes (I mean “spaceships,” “princess castles,” and “race cars”) and ridiculous treasured crap that will cause a total meltdown if it ends up where it really belongs….the trash can.

The Festivus Miracle

Somewhere in all our bumbling around as moms, we get some things right. We see the building blocks of their character starting to come together. We experience the wonder of their world. And we snuggle in a still moment. We realize that what we’re doing matters. It’s a Festivus Miracle!

So Happy Festivus, moms of toddlers. Today is the day that all of the ridiculous that you juggle every day is celebrated. And, when the wine glass just isn’t tall enough, remember….serenity now!