From Corporate to Stay-at-Home Mom :: Identity Crisis

Have you lost yourself?

As the National Sales Rep with an MBA for a Fortune 500 company turned stay-at-home mom, I get it. For as long as I can remember my identity was in my work, my achievements, and my productivity. That desire wasn’t being fed as a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). My reality was consumed with three kids under three with no income, no achievements, and no recognition.

My expectations did not match my reality.

Life didn’t look like I had thought it would, and I couldn’t figure it out. I worked so hard to be able to make the choice that so many people long to make. I had it all planned out. And I thought I had it all under control. I was able to quit my full-time career, stay at home with my kids, and live off my husband’s salary.

My self-worth was tied to my net-worth, and as a SAHM making an income of zero, the lens I looked through told me it wasn’t enough. So almost five years ago, I started a company to build something of my own outside the four walls of my home. I pursued this business that would hopefully fill the void. But as with any problem in life, if your goal is to fill a void instead of addressing the root cause, it always comes back to bite you.

A business could never fill the void in my life.

If I measure my success in life on the ever-changing standard of the world linked to net-worth, it will never be enough. Instead, I choose to measure my success by the ripple effect I am creating through my family and my work. This feels like a much more authentic place to be and in complete alignment with my core values. It was never about money, so why would I use that as my measuring stick?

Busyness has always been my drug of choice.

I’ve always been someone who keeps looking forward and never back; someone who is constantly striving and looking towards the next thing; someone who lived as if there was never enough time. Even typing this is stressing me out. But when you’re deep in it, you can’t see the forest for the trees. It was never enough. I was always seeking more.

The missing link is simply being content.

It wasn’t until this year that I chose to be content. It has always been a choice, but I never considered it. Since the beginning of this year, I went from a human doing to a human being. I went from always focusing on the destination to enjoying the journey. I went from feeling like it was never enough to being grateful exactly where I am and for everything I have.

Perspective is everything.

I am thankful that I started my business almost five years ago because I’ve learned so much about myself than I ever would have without it. Turns out being an entrepreneur is like one of those magnifying mirrors that shows you everything about yourself—the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s not for the faint of heart.

I am constantly being pushed outside of my comfort zone, but that’s where the magic happens. Because I am committed to growing and becoming a better version of myself, I show up as a better wife, mom, coach, friend, and leader.

~Be still and know.