I’ve come to dread Monday mornings. I head downstairs to the kitchen to make my tea, and the first thing I see is a pile of mess covering the kitchen counter, leftover food in the sink, and a stove covered in last night’s grease splatter.
I find my blood pressure rising and temper boiling as I clean up the mess my husband had agreed to clean. While other mornings during the week also start like this, the mess gets under my skin the most on Monday mornings.
I value efficiency, cleanliness and the ease of completing simple things, like breakfast and tea!
Mondays are the day I schedule in work around my families’ appointments and must do’s for the week. My plans created on a Monday set my weekly tone. I am still recovering from a major car accident, and how I use my energy on a day-to-day basis affects how I show up in the world for my work, for my family, and for myself and my dreams.
Slamming pots and pans while I clean up forcefully relieves some of my built-up tension. And it definitely gets me my alone time as everyone in the house quietly migrates upstairs to get away from my spewing negative energy. I find I hate my childish Monday morning tantrum even while in the midst of it.
I’ve discovered that when I start acting out, it’s because my brain is feeling overwhelmed by how much I have to do around the home. I also feel frustrated for not having asked for help in a way that enables my husband to understand why his help is important to me. It’s exhausting being the planner and organizer of everything.
Lately, I spend every morning writing down whatever thoughts are nagging at me. This helps remove the resentment that’s been building up in our relationship and clears my mind to help me figure out what’s really bothering me.
I’m great at seeing patterns when I’m not mired in emotional overwhelm. So, I’m not surprised to learn that much of my dissatisfaction also lies in the fact that I am not taking the time to expand my comfort zone.
I’ve learned that when I start having a Monday morning tantrum, it’s because internally I feel trapped in the mundane details of life and I sense that I am not living up to my full potential.
Pre-accident I had a motto: Do one thing a day that scares me.
Post-accident has been an incredible journey of chronic pain, loss of identity, and reconciliation of who I am now with what I once was.
Somehow, though, I’ve gotten in the habit of keeping myself safe because of all the things that have to get done and the fact that no one else doing them. Or that’s the story I’ve been telling myself.
In reality, I need to expand myself in a way that isn’t related to anyone else’s needs or anything to do with the house. My big theme for the year is expansion and courage. I’m leading a public speaking group, where brave (and not so brave) women meet to learn how to tell their stories of hardship to encourage and inspire other women. Courage is a muscle that gets stronger when used.
As women, we often leave our self care to last, when it should be the priority so that we have the energy and sense of humor to show up where it matters the most: in our relationships.
In the past, when I was excited and passionate I was way less likely to have a pot- and pan-slamming Monday morning tantrum at home. That’s because I was taking care of the expressionist child inside me. I was staying calm and communicative.
What about you, dear one? Have you been finding yourself overwhelmed and having (or wanting to have) temper tantrums of your own? What do you do to make sure you are getting the self-care and courage expansion that you need? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
Lora Frost is an artist, storyteller, and speaker. She leads intuitive painting workshops for women, navigating loss of self identity, and teaches how to express emotions with paint. She can be found at LoraFrost.com.