As I was heading out for the weekend, one of my coworkers said to enjoy my few days off. I replied with ‘my weekends are busier than my weeks.’
As I was thinking about what to write for the first ‘Dad’s Corner’ I wanted to make sure that moms understand that dads really don’t think that much different from them.
We just don’t talk about it. Or write about it. Or post about it. Or text about it. I think you get the picture.
Let me start off by saying that I don’t know anyone that works harder than my wife. Being a mom is one of the hardest, but most rewarding jobs in the world. I don’t know how she does it. She is my best friend. However, I love when I hear her talking to her friends and she says that she cannot do it alone. We are a team, but even the best teams need a break.
But take a break on the weekends? Not a chance in our household.
As a father to four boys, ages 7, 10, 11 and 13, my weekends are spent on a field or court. Having grown up playing sports, of course, I am going to be a coach. Although there is nothing else I would rather be doing than watch my boys play, sometimes I get tired and just need a break. But when the weekend comes, there is no time for that.
For example, this past week, we had a game on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and 4 games on Sunday. Not to mention our school carnival on Saturday, in which my wife was volunteering all day.
Then on top of that, it was one of my son’s 10th birthday and I got the privilege of taking him to his first Nascar race. My average time getting home on those nights was between 8-9pm. That left very little time to spend with my wife, which I know is the most important relationship.
Sunday night we made it home around 7pm, had birthday cake and ice cream to celebrate, opened presents and got the kids to bed. Finally, it was time to sit down and relax at around 9pm. After a little catching up and mapping out the next week, my wife and I went to bed and woke up 7 hours later to do it all over again.
Maybe this week I can get to the yard and some house chores. Then again, maybe not.
I know that we control what our kids can do, but I want them to be involved and be active.
Our best friends are at the fields. Our liveliness is through our boys. And yes, there is no place else that I would rather be on a gorgeous day than on a ball field. And when your now 10-year old looks at you when he wakes up on Monday morning and says “Dad, that was the best weekend ever,” you know that not having your weekend is worth it.
Next time you see a dad sitting on the couch, enjoying a cold beverage and watching the news or sports, let him sit for a few minutes because we need a little time just to do nothing. I really don’t think that it is asking too much.
Chris Beach is the Executive Director of the Relationship Foundation of Virginia. He lives in Henrico County with his wife and four boys. He is a life-long Richmonder and loves to help couples strengthen their relationships, encourage dads to be active in the lives of their children, and teach youth about the fears and joys of healthy relationships. For more information about the Relationship Foundation of VA, go to www.rfva.org.