Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!


Can we be honest with each other? I’m a little over all the blog posts, magazine articles, and even podcasts telling me that this stage of life with young(ish) children is hard. I know it’s hard already. I’m livin’ it!

And if one more wiser, older mom tells me that there will be a time in the not too distant future when my husband and I will be able to take long weekends away and enjoy cozy, familiar-but-fun sex again, I’m going to scream!

Look, I’m smart enough to know that the days are long but the years are short. We’re smack dab in the middle years of parenting. It’s a sort of strange wonderland in the parenting journey where everyone can get their own cereal and wipe their own tushies. And for the most part, everyone sleeps peacefully through the night, parents included. We can head out on a Saturday morning for a full day of adventure—no diaper bag needed. We’re having fun and embracing family life, and it’s great!

But, let me tell you something: I’m not too tired for sex anymore!

I’m no longer feeling like every moment of every day is consumed by a tiny human touching me. My breasts are no longer sore and squishy from nourishing my beautiful babies. I may not have my 20-something figure back, but I can pull off a pair of skinny jeans and a sexy blouse like a boss. I don’t feel guilty for booking a sitter for a much-needed date night with my man. And do you know what I want to do after the date night ends? You guessed it: I want to have awesome, fun, loving, sex with my man!

But here’s the thing: we’re still in the middle years of parenting, so usually, one of our small to medium offspring wants to wander into our bedroom right around the time things are getting hot. Sidenote: Yes, we should probably install a lock on our bedroom door. So, what’s a mom to do?  

This mom has decided to get creative about finding the time and place to get intimate because here’s one thing I can tell you for SURE: when the typical frustrations of parenting a herd of kids while managing two careers, hobbies, and everything else arises, the fact that we can lock eyes and remember our little rendezvous in the closet that morning lightens the mood instantly!  

So, if you’re like me and you’re past the zombie-like existence of newborns but you’re not quite to the Friday night freedom of teenagers, here are some ideas about how you and your partner can get it on without traumatizing the kids if they’re likely to ignore the sock you put on the doorknob:

  • Start taking a shower together in the morning. You may find you no longer need coffee to feel alive!
  • Make a lunch date to meet at home for a quick sack lunch if you know what I mean!
  • Plan a date day instead of date night and set up playdates for the kids to be at friends’ or family’s homes so you can return home before they do and enjoy your actual bed together sans small people!

There are probably lots of other ways you can be sure you’re able to bring the sexy back to your marriage long before the kids leave home. If you have an idea, share it in the comments!

Bottom line: be creative and be willing to try new and different ways to keep the intimacy alive in your marriage. It makes these middle years not just fun for family adventures, but you’ll find you might be ready for an entirely new kind of adventure as a couple!