It was the 8th day of school and I was already sitting in the principal’s office with my daughter’s teacher and her principal listening to how my daughter left the classroom without asking, would not sit in her desk, and does not listen.
“Is she disrespectful?” No.
“Does she hurt anyone?” No.
“Is she learning?” Well, not what we are teaching for the standardized tests but yes.
“What would you like me to do about it?” Tell her that she must sit down and do what everyone else is doing.
No. I will not force my child to sit down and do what everyone else is doing.
If she is not hurting anyone, if she is not being disruptive, if she is not being disrespectful, then I will not interfere. My child is brilliant, she is curious about everything. She will not pass the SOL’s for her grade, I can almost guarantee it.
But that is because while most students are sitting and learning how to pass the test, my daughter is learning how to excel in life.
I own my own business. I own several of them in fact. I did not get expelled in school but I definitely did things my own way. I was bored by the standards so I made my own and exceeded those. My daughter is living in a world where I am positive that she will not be an ideal employee and encouraging her to do as everyone else leads to a battle of “Why?”s.
I wrote earlier this year about our decision to homeschool because of her learning style. It is simply not allowed in traditional schools. I understand since if we had a classroom full of individuals doing whatever they were drawn to it would be chaos…right?
Look around our world though.
The people who are truly happy in this world are doing what they love to do. Not what they are being forced to do or not interested in.
My daughter is entitled to be happy and pursue her dreams in this world.
Is she not? It is my job as her mom to furnish her with proper grounds for seeking or claiming something such as success, happiness, a job that she loves. If she does nothing than what she is told to do while she is developing then when she is an adult she will not be entitled to anything. Yet, if I give her the tools and space to explore what she is curious about, within reason, and guide her through what is moral and just in the world then her entitlement should be deserved and warranted.
I did not explain this to her teacher or principal.
I am most likely the minority when it comes to raising an entitled child.
I fear that this stigma around the word is leading to lack of confidence and self-awareness in our children. They could be missing out on things they are entitled to because they are simply doing what everyone else is doing rather than the things that they are drawn towards.
As a therapist, I remember seeing a child for anxiety and an eating disorder. Turns out the child was stressed about their performance in a piano recital and getting into a music school. After a few sessions, I explained to the parent that the solution to their child’s anxiety was to quit piano. The child did not enjoy it and it caused more stress for the child than was healthy. The parent was appalled and responded “but it is what is best for her. I learned piano when I was her age and she should as well”.
I leave you with the opportunity to raise an entitled child.
To change the stigma around this word. To decide what you are entitled to in your marriage, relationship, job, and life. Believe that you deserve something special, that you are entitled to it. After all, you are special. There is only one you.