“What in the world is a Push Present?” he asked.
No doubt my very loving husband would not appreciate me posting this story. But, I think that if he has this question, many other fathers might be wondering the same thing. And so it is probably worth the discussion. When we had our first daughter five and a half years ago, we took a birthing class with about eight other couples. This was the first time my husband had heard of a push present.
Many wives were eager to find out what their husbands would give them. And then, of course, if someone heard they were having an extra big baby or twins, she commented that her partner should add another zero to the push present’s value. Our first labor day came and went with the gift of a beautiful baby girl to add to our family as we started our new lives as parents.
No Push Present.
We did not discuss it, and I did not bring it up, so maybe it’s partially my fault. But now we are weeks away from our next baby. And, recently, our friends and family have been talking about the push present.
I asked my husband if he intended to get me a push present this time around, and he responded, “Why?”. In his mind, right, wrong or indifferent, our baby is our present. He said he will be there the entire time with me while I am in labor. He will be supporting me and encouraging me, so he does not understand why I need a push present.
Spouses, husbands, men, and women: a push present acknowledges the hours of labor, pain, and bodily destruction a woman experiences while giving you that gift of a baby.
Add this to the nine months of stretching, peeing, probing, blood tests, sleepless nights, new wardrobe, soreness almost everywhere, and a million other things I will save for another blog post, and you can easily see why I feel a little recognition is in order. And the mentality that you should be purchasing this gift is not going to do it, either. Ideally, you want to purchase this gift for the woman you love who is birthing your baby! The push present says you are grateful for all the challenges of pregnancy and childbirth she has faced.
Yes, as women, our bodies were designed to grow life and deliver humans into this world. In my case, I have experienced the physical and emotional pain of six miscarriages. I think maybe God did not design my baby-making machine as efficiently as some other women. I do not feel like I deserve something above and beyond the miracle of life, but I would love to feel like my husband wants to shower me with a gift acknowledging that this body will never be the same. Although he will be there by my side during all the hours of labor, that is nothing like feeling the sensation of pushing a baby out of your body.