To say that I was the most religious of individuals when I got married would be an exaggeration, to say the least. But before we were married, my husband and I did see a religious movie, Fireproof, and it was very powerful.
The movie inspired me to read the related book, The Love Dare. But it was not until we were going through our own fire that I truly understood the impact that the book would have on our marriage.
What is The Love Dare?
The Love Dare asks that you give your marriage, yourself, and your spouse a month of dedication before you decide to give up.
I had developed the attitude that my husband did not deserve a day let alone 30 of them. But in the great state of Virginia, if you have children, you have to give him 12 months before you can divorce him. So I figured I would give it a shot.
For 30 Days, I Was Selfless
I practiced patience. I did not blame. I invested in the relationship, not because I was looking for something in return, but because it was the right thing to do, and because I believed in our family.
My husband did not do it with me, and even though I resented that at the time, it taught me that marriage is not a selfish thing. It is selfless. I made commitments regardless of his actions. I chose to be a good wife regardless of whether or not he was being a good husband. I figured if we both sat back and waited for the other one to start being nice, we would never get anywhere.
I do not know what your outcome will be, but I can share with you what mine was.
The best result was a newfound giddiness in our relationship. And if I had to name a second best result, it would be the profound effect it has had on our children. Seeing mommy and daddy so deeply in love has been incredible for them.
I now understand the definition of unconditional love. I see him for all the good he has brought to my life. I can focus on that even when the toilet seat is up, the dishes are not put away, the kids are still up, he decides to sleep in, and…I could go on and on.
And now, I know how to ask him for help and share my feelings in a non-confrontational way so that I am heard and not starting an argument.
Try It Yourself
If you are reading this and on that edge, or even if you feel like you haven’t had the time for your spouse, give him or her 30 days. See what happens. Maybe you will find out just how fireproof your marriage is. I wish you luck.