If there’s one thing I’ve learned in motherhood, it’s that what works well for others will probably not work for you. I’ve heard wonderful stories of diaper-to-undies in one weekend. But why potty train in three days when you can make it a month-long potty party?! Here’s how:
30 Day Potty Training Plan
- Day 1: Buy a toddler potty seat, three packs of underwear, a bag of M&Ms, mini marshmallows, and stickers.
- Day 2: Show your toddler the new potty seat, hype up the excitement of how “big kids” use the potty, and…bribe them with the treats.
- Day 3: Treats won’t be enough, so buy themed books about potty training, too. And if you’re up for it, show your kid how you use the potty.
- Day 4: Ask your kid if they want to use the potty. They might say yes, but immediately scream “NOOOOOO!!!” as soon as you enter the bathroom.
- Day 5: Attempt to do a potty-training weekend (because this works for other kids). Run into your child’s room very excitedly and proclaim that it’s time to start using the potty! Remind them of the M&Ms, mini marshmallows, stickers, ponies, and treasures they’ll get when they use the potty. They won’t care.
- Day 6: Give up and use the pull-ups like the diapers they really are.
- Day 7: They finally pee in the potty! But your excitement scares them, and they won’t go near it again.
- Day 8: Take some deep breaths and reassure yourself that one day, they will use the potty. After all, they stop making these pull-ups after a certain weight limit.
- Day 9: Eat the M&Ms yourself.
- Day 10: Your toddler asks to use the potty!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!! And get the mini marshmallows ready (because you haven’t eaten those, yet).
- Day 11: It was a novelty. They just wanted to get toilet paper and flush.
- Day 12: Invite your friends’ kids to come over and play because they use the potty and you hope their habits will rub off.
- Day 13: Every time you change their diaper ask, “Would you like to go potty or have a diaper?”
- Day 14: For once, they choose to go potty on their own…then ask for a diaper after.
- Day 15: You get wise and buy 300 pairs of toddler undies because the ones you bought 15 days ago have somehow vanished into thin air.
- Day 16: This is the magical morning your child wakes up and decides, “I have to go potty!”
- Day 17: The kid has eaten so many M&Ms and mini marshmallows, you decide to schedule a dentist appointment…just in case.
- Day 18: You haven’t left the house in three to four days in fear of an accident, but it doesn’t matter because POTTY!!!!
- Day 19: Do a Target run as fast as you can with your toddler sporting underwear (and with at least two backup pairs + pants in your purse).
- Day 20: Regression day. Your kid pees at least four times on the floor of your home and doesn’t even say, “Oops!”
- Day 21: Buy more M&Ms.
- Day 22: First time using the potty in a public place!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Day 23: You forget what diaper-life was even like…
- Day 24: …just in time to let a family member watch your child for a few hours (in your own home). Your kid poops in their underwear and smears it all over their clothes.
- Day 25: You thought poopy diapers were nauseating until you continue to find poop smears in your home.
- Day 26: A perfect day: never prompted to use the potty, and they go on their own!
- Day 27: Buy 128 more pairs of undies because WHERE DID THEY ALL GO?!
- Day 28: It’s the weekend, so go on some outings!
- Day 29: When they ask for M&Ms after going potty, say, “We don’t do that anymore. BUT if you clean up your room….then you can have some!!”
- Day 30: Toilet clogs with toilet paper. But at least you don’t have diapers anymore.
Also note to stock up on toilet paper…forever.
